Riker: "Sensors?"
Data: "I am having difficulty scanning the object. It appears to be approximately two-hundred-million kilometers in diameter."
Riker: "That's nearly as large as the Earth's orbit around the sun."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Picard: "Mister Data, could this be a Dyson Sphere?"
Data: "The object does fit the general parameters of Dyson's theory."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Riker: "A Dyson sphere?"
Picard: "A very old theory, Number One, I'm not surprised that you haven't heard of it. In the twentieth century, a physicist called Freeman Dyson postulated the theory that an enormous hollow sphere could be constructed around a star. This would have the advantage of harnessing all the radiant energy of that star, and any population living on the interior surface would have virtually inexhaustable sources of power."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Riker: "Are you saying you think there're people living in there?"
Data: "Possibly a great number of people, Commander. The interior surface area of a sphere this size is the equivalent of more than two-hundred and fifty million Class-M planets."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

LaForge: "Commander, the transporter is still online. It's being fed power from the auxillary systems."
Riker: "The rematerialization subroutine's been disabled."
LaForge: "Yeah, and that's not all. The phase inducters are connected to the emitter array. The override is completely gone, and the pattern buffer's been locked into a continuous diagnostic cycle."
Riker: "This doesn't make any sense. Locking the unit into a diagnostic mode just sends the matter array through a pattern buffer. Why would anyone--"
LaForge: "There's a pattern in the buffer still."
Riker: "It's completely intact. There's less than point-zero-zero-three percent signal degredation. How is that possible?"
LaForge: "I don't know, I've never seen a transporter jury-rigged like this before."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Riker: "Could someone survive inside a transporter buffer for seventy-five years?"
LaForge: "I know a way to find out."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Ah, thank you, lad."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Riker: "I'm Commander William Riker, Starship Enterprise. Lieutenant Commander Geordi LaForge."
Scott: "The Enterprise? I should've known. I bet Jim Kirk himself pulled the gal out of mothballs to come looking for me!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Captain Montgomery Scott. Tell me, how long have I been missing?"
Riker: "Well--"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Riker: "Captain Scott, Lieutenant Worf."
Scott: "'Lieutenant'?"
Worf: "Yes."
Riker: "Captain, perhaps there are a few things we should talk about."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Riker: "We should probably get you to Sickbay. Doctor Crusher will want to have--"
Scott: "You've changed the resonator array!"
Riker: "Geordi, I think our guest is going to have a lot of engineering questions."
LaForge: "Not to worry, Commander, I'll take care of it."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "What've you done with the duotronic enhancers?"
LaForge: "Well, those were *replaced* with isolinear chips about forty years ago. A lot more efficient now. Oh, that's an EPS power tap there!"
Scott: "Ahh."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Oh, is that a conduit interface?"
LaForge: "Yeah, it is."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

LaForge: "You were saying it's as big as life. You mean the Dyson sphere."
Scott: "Aye, a natural Dyson sphere! Can you imagine the engineering skills needed to design such a structure?"
LaForge: "Yeah, I know, it's pretty amazing."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

LaForge: "Can I ask you a question? What in the world made you think of using the transporter pattern buffer to survive?"
Scott: "Well, we didn't have enough supplies to wait for the rescue, so we had to think of something."
LaForge: "Yeah, but locking it into a diagnostic cycle so that the pattern wouldn't degrade and then cross-connecting it with the phase inducers to provide a regenerative power source. That's absolutely brilliant."
Scott: "Well, I think was only fifty percent brilliant. Franklin deserves better."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

LaForge: "You know, I think you're going to enjoy the twenty-fourth century, Mister Scott. We've made some pretty incredible advances these last eighty years."
Scott: "Oh, from what I've seen, you've got a fine ship, Mister LaForge. A real beauty here. I must admit to being a bit overwhelmed."
LaForge: "Hmm, wait 'til you see the Holodeck."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Well, I'll say this about your Enterprise. The doctors are a fair sight prettier."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Picard: "I'm Jean-Luc Picard. Welcome aboard the Enterprise, Captain Scott."
Scott: "Thank you, sir, and call me 'Scotty'."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Picard: "How're you feeling?"
Scott: "I don't know. How am I feeling?"
Beverly: "Other than a few bumps and bruises, I'd say you feel fine for a man of a hundred and forty-seven."
Scott: "And I don't feel a day over a hundred and twenty."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

LaForge: "I need to get down to Engineering to begin that analysis."
Scott: "'Engineering'? I thought you'd never ask!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Beverly: "Captain, the first thing you need to get is some rest. Now this has been a shock to your system and I want you to not push yourself."
LaForge: "We're pretty busy down there anyway, Captain Scott. I promise I'd be happy to give you a tour just as soon as the doctor says it's okay."
Beverly: "I'll find someone to show you your quarters."
Scott: "Aye..."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Good lord, man, where have you put me?"
Kane: "These are standard guest quarters, sir. I can try and find something bigger if you want."
Scott: "'Bigger'? In my day, even an admiral wouldn't have had such quarters in a starship!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "You know, I remember a time we had to transport the Dohlman of Elas. You never had anyone whine and complain so much about quarters as she did."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "You know, these quarters remind me of a hotel room in Argelius. Oh now there is a planet! Everything a man wants right at his fingertips! 'Course, in the first visit, I got into a *wee* bit of trouble!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Bartel: "Can I help you, sir?"
Scott: "Oh, I don't think so, lassie, but I'll let you know if you can."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "We're in Engineering. Call me 'Scotty'!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "I'm not here for a tour, laddie. I'm here to help!"
LaForge: "That's very kind, but I'm sure we can handle it."
Scott: "I was a Starfleet engineer for fifty-two years, Mister LaForge. I think I'm still useful."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Laddie, you need to phase-lock the warp fields within three percent, or they'll become unstable!"
LaForge: "What?!"
Scott: "Well look here! The warp--"
LaForge: "We use a multi-phase auto-containment field now. It's meant to operate above three percent."
Scott: "Uh, well, that would make the difference."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "I remember...a time when the old Enterprise was spiraling towards Psi 2000. And the captain wanted to try a cold start of the warp engines. And I told him, that without a proper phase-lock, it would take at least thirty minutes. 'You cannot change the laws of physics!', I told him! But, he wouldn't believe me! So, I had to come up with a whole new engine start-up routine."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Do you know that your dilithium crystals are going to fracture?!"
LaForge: "We recomposit the crystals while they're still inside the articulation frame."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Do you mind a little advice? Starfleet captains are like children. They want everything right now, and they want it their way. But the secret is to give only what they need, not what they want!"
LaForge: "Yeah, well I told the captain I'd have this analysis done in an hour."
Scott: "How long would it really take?"
LaForge: "An hour!"
Scott: "Oh, you didn't tell him how long it would *really* take, did you?"
LaForge: "Well of course I did."
Scott: "Oh, laddie, you've got a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

LaForge: "Captain Scott! I've tried to be patient, I've tried to be polite. But I've got a job to do here! And quite frankly, you're in the way!"
Scott: "I was driving starships while your great-grandfather was still in *diapers*! I think you'd be a little grateful for some help! I'll leave you to work, Mister LaForge!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "What in blazes is *this*?!"
Waiter: "Didn't you order scotch?"
Scott: "Laddie, I was drinking scotch a hundred years before you were born. And I can tell you that whatever this is, it is definately not scotch."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Data: "I believe I may be of some assistance. Captain Scott is unaware of the existence of synthehol."
Scott: "'S-synthehol'?"
Data: "Yes, sir. It is an alcohol-substitute now being served aboard starships. It simulates the appearance, taste, and smell of alcohol, but the intoxicating effects can be easily dismissed."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "You're not quite, uh, *human*, are you?"
Data: "No, sir. I am an android. Lieutenant Commander Data."
Scott: "Synthetic scotch, synthetic commanders."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "What is it?"
Data: "It is-- Hm! It is-- It is *green*."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Computer: "Please enter program."
Scott: "The android at the bar said you could show me my old ship. Let me see it!"
Computer: "Insufficient data. Please specify parameters."
Scott: "The Enterprise! Show me the Bridge of the Enterprise, you chattering piece of--"
Computer: "There have been five Federation ships with that name. Please specify by registry number."
Scott: "N-C-C-1-7-0-1. No bloody 'A', 'B', 'C', or 'D'."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Here's to you, lads."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "I don't know what it is exactly, but I would be *real* careful. It's real--"
Picard: "Aldeberan whisky. Who do you think gave it to Guinan?"
Scott: "Ahh."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Picard: "Constitution class."
Scott: "Aye. You're familiar with them?"
Picard: "There's one in the Fleet Museum, but...but then, of course, this is *your* Enterprise."
Scott: "I actually served on two. This was the first. She was also the first ship I ever served on as Chief Engineer. You know, I served aboard eleven ships...freighters, cruisers, starships...but this is the only one I think of. The only one I miss."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Picard: "The first vessel I that I served on as captain, was called the 'Stargazer'. It was an overworked, underpowered vessel, always on the verge of flying apart at the seams. And every measurable sense, my Enterprise is far superior. But there are times, when I would give almost everything, to command the Stargazer again."
Scott: "Yeah, it's like the first time you fall in love. You don't ever love a woman quite like that again."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "To the Enterprise and the Stargazer. Old girlfriends we'll never meet again."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Picard: "What do you think of the Enterprise-D?"
Scott: "She's a beauty. With a good crew."
Picard: "But..."
Scott: "But...when I was here, I could tell you the speed we were traveling by the feel of the deckplates. But on your ship, I feel like I'm just in the way."
Picard: "Oh, seventy-five years is a long time."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Picard: "If you would care to study some technical schematics or--"
Scott: "I'm not eighteen! I can't start out like a raw cadet! Yeah, there a comes a time when a man finds that he can't fall in love again. He knows that it's time to stop."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "I don't belong on your ship. I belong on this one. This was my home. This is where I had a purpose. But it's not real. It's just a computer- generated fantasy. And I'm just an old man who's trying to hide in it."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Computer, shut this bloody thing off. It's time I acted my age."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Picard: "Mister LaForge...I would like *you* to accompany Captain Scott.
LaForge: "Me, sir."
Picard: "Yes. Look, this is not an order. It's a request, and it's one that you must feel perfectly free to decline. You see, one of the most important things in a person's life is to feel *useful*. Now, Mister Scott is a Starfleet officer, and I would like him to feel useful again."
LaForge: "I'll go with him, sir."
Picard: "Thank you."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

LaForge: "Are you feeling all right?"
Scott: "Well, never get drunk unless you're willing to pay for it the next day. I'll manage."
LaForge: "Okay..."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "But when they can build ships like your Enterprise, who would want to pilot an old bucket like this?"
LaForge: "I don't know, if this ship were operational, I'd bet she'd run circles around the Enterprise at impulse speeds. Just because something's old doesn't mean you throw it away."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

LaForge: "You know, if we could get these engines back online, we could track them with their impulse ion trail."
Scott: "Are you deaf? The main drive assembly's shot, the inducers have melted, the power couplings are wrecked. We'd need a week just to get started! But, we don't have a week, so, we've no sense in crying about it!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Shut the duterium from the main cryo pump to the auxillary tank."
LaForge: "The tank can't withstand that kind of pressure."
Scott: "Where'd you get that idea?!"
LaForge: "What do you where'd I get that idea? It's in the impulse engine specifications."
Scott: "Regulation 42/15? Pressure variances on the IRC Tank storage?"
LaForge: "Yeah!"
Scott: "Forget it. I wrote it. A good engineer is always a *wee* bit conservative, at least on paper."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Take the Bridge, Commander."
LaForge: "Oh no. You're the senior officer here."
Scott: "Oh, I may be captain by rank, but I never wanted to be anything else but an engineer."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Data: "I will endeavor to speed up the process, sir."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "I bet you two bottles of scotch that they're inside the sphere. And that they went *in* right through the hatch."
LaForge: "Yeah, no bet here."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Geordi, I have spent my whole life, trying to figure out crazy ways of doing things. I'm telling you, as one engineer to another...I can *do* this."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "The plasma intercooler's gone! The engines are overheating!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "It's coming apart, lad! I can't do anything else!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "There now, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Picard: "Captain's Log, Stardate 46125.3 Starfleet has dispatched two science vessels to study the Dyson sphere, while we proceed to Starbase 55."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

LaForge: "So, this alien space-baby, which is about the size of a four story building, *really* felt the Enterprise was its mother."
Scott: "Oh, you're pulling an old man's leg!"
LaForge: "No, really! It was suckling power directly from ship's fusion reactors. So Doctor Brahms and I changed the power frequency from twenty-one centimeters to point-zero-two centimeters."
Scott: "And you soured the milk!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Oh, enjoy these times, Geordi. You're the chief engineer of a starship. And it's a time of your life that'll never come again. When it's gone, it's gone."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "Now, lad, I thought you were going to buy me a drink in Ten-Forward."
LaForge: "Actually, I had a better idea."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "You're giving me one of your shuttles?"
Picard: "Well, call it an 'extended loan'. Since you lost your ship saving ours it seemed only fair."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Riker: "She's not much to look at."
Scott: "Laddie, every woman has her own charm. You just have to know where to look for her."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

LaForge: "Well, she's a little slow, but she'll certainly get you to the Norpon Colony, if that's really where you want to go."
Scott: "The Norpon Colony is for old men to retire. Maybe someday, I'll end up there. But not yet."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Picard: "Well, bon voyage, Mister Scott."
Scott: "Thank you, sir. For everything."
Data: "Mister Scott."
Troi: "Good-bye."
Scott: "Bye-bye."
Riker: "Scotty."
Scott: "Thank you."
Beverly: "Bye. Be well."
Scott: "Mmm."
Worf: [No comment]
Scott: [No comment]
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

Scott: "A good crew."
LaForge: "Yeah, they are."
Scott: "And a fine ship. A credit to her name. But I've found that a ship is only as good as the engineer who takes care of her. And from what I can see, the Enterprise is in good hands."
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3

LaForge: "You take care of yourself out there."
Scott: "Aye!"
-- "Relics", Stardate 46125.3